Collecting Media - 2025 03 24

 


Yesterday I started the task of collecting and cataloguing the photos, videos and notes that document the lived experience of looking after Mom. In yesterday's work session I got about halfway through a collection of over 900 media files. 

My takeaways from going through the files so far - and I just happened to start with files from early 2021, when we were finishing the bathroom reno.  First, I noticed how many times Nahanni came up to visit to spend time with Mom. Those were not easy trips for her to make, approximately 6 hours each way including crossing the US / Canada border. I had quite a few photos and videos she shared with me from her visits.

Second, I noticed how many times Mom had family visiting. The fact was that we had to make up some of Mom's caregiving support from unpaid family because I could not do it alone. So Mom had visits with her children, and spent time with them, more than any time in the 40 years she was in mental health group housing. Her frailty and need for care activated all of her children, in different ways, and the result was that we all got to know Mom much better and she got to enjoy spending time with her grown kids, which was her greatest joy.

Third, I noticed how many photos and videos had Adele, our Formosan Mountain dog rescue, was somewhere near Mom. It wasn't that Adele was all that affectionate, its just that she was never far away. Even on Mom's last day, as she was struggling to breath, Adele had crawled under her bed and stayed there as I tried to give Mom medications that might ease her stress.

Fourth, I noticed how good it felt to go through all these photos and videos. Mom was so funny, she loved to be part of anything that was going on. She wasn't trying to be funny, she was just an incredibly, interesting, and surprising character. All in a good way. We could tell she was struggling with her dementia when her thoughts turned dark and her language was salty. It just meant she needed a rest and maybe have a tablet of Risperidone.

I did come across a repository of files about that renovation, so I will have a proper cost accounting for that work.

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